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"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" Hamlet, somewhere.
by ConfusedOfHomeCounties on 2004 Sep 4 - 01:29 | reply to this comment
Vulnerability - do you want it?
I like this article very much. It's not exactly how I feel, but it resonates strongly in my heart. It describes the kind of relationship I would like, and don't at present have, with my wife. She says she only likes "gentle love", but I have this notion that underneath this there lies a deeper dimension. I want to uncover it for her - and for me, of course! She is a dear, caring person and does many things to please me, but I instinctively feel there is a part of her closed to me. She doesn't want to make herself vulnerable. She wants to be in control of her emotions all the time - but in fact this is not how things are. Her emotions sometimes control her in ways neither she nor I like very much.
Now to Louise's comment: Louise dear, nobody is wanting you to be vulnerable (I can't speak for your husband.) Just be glad this site has such a variety of viewpoints expressed in a unoffending way for all to learn from and enjoy reading about. For me, this is all about trust. Trust is offered, and honoured. The more vulnerable the woman is, the more strongly she can express her trust in her man. The woman wants the opportunity to so completely trust her man that she becomes one with him, united in love. I, too, cannot help suspecting you would love the opportunity to show your trust in this way - wouldn't you, Louise? It's scary, though, and that is what puts many off.