1. https://bit.ly/3NsvEmP
2. https://bit.ly/36V2wnw
3. https://bit.ly/3DiNWCm
4. https://bit.ly/3tPE67C
5. https://bit.ly/3iGPAEm
6. https://bit.ly/3IOpM3L
7. https://bit.ly/3Nvzrj3
8. https://bit.ly/3ISbOh8
9. https://bit.ly/3tNX5zJ
10. https://bit.ly/3IQ3hLR
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12. I'm one of those who has tried to fit myself into the BDSM culture.
13. My first serious boyfriend considered himself a dominant in the BDSM sense. I was drawn to the idea of being under his control. We turned out not to be a good fit primarily because I wanted it to be "real" and not merely a sexual kink or "just pretend." I wanted it to be that he really cared about me and that this was part of his expression of it, not that it was just a game we played that was sexually arousing. There was much whipping and paddling and handcuffing and humiliation, but it seemed sort of hollow and did not bring any peace, at least not to me.
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15. I've also tried asking for "punishment" spankings from strangers, but that turns out hollow for different reason -- they don't care about me and it feels like we are just going through the motions.
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17. Now I'm in a truly wonderful relationship in which the man I'm with naturally asserts his authority in an extremely caring way, when needed. For example, if I get myself into a mood because something has gone wrong with school or lab work, he'll comfort me with hugs and kisses and "are you okay's" for a while, but if I don't snap out of it, he'll say with a lot of firmness in his voice, "You're being silly now. Stop it." And I -love- him for it.
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19. It is odd to me that the fact that he doesn't spank me or beat me or anything of the sort (and has in fact told me that he finds the idea of hitting me aversive). I feel so amazingly loved and so wonderfully cared for, and so beautifully protected, and so intelligently encouraged.
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21. I honestly can't believe how lucky I am. I can hardly believe I could feel this way without being spanked, because I've wanted to be spanked for all of my adult life. (I'm 23).
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